bedside manners

Originally written/posted: May 2011
Fandom: Inception (2010)
Pairing: Eames/Arthur
Rating: PG
Word Count: 450 words
Notes: Pure, unadulterated, domestic fluff.

“Arthur, you are being irrational here,” Eames says, crossing his arms over his chest, the picture of being one-hundred-percent serious.

Arthur’s being irrational here, Eames thinks, no, he knows, because he definitely isn’t wrong about this. Arthur is being difficult about who sleeps on what side, and normally Eames doesn’t care what side he sleeps on, he’s just happy to sleep, but there’s something about this infuriating man that makes him competitive.

The other man, the other beautiful man, stares at him with incredulous, narrow eyes, and he really does look quite lovely. Eames would tell him so, but he’s pretty sure that Arthur would rip off his balls if he so much as hinted at the fact that Eames found him attractive, so he kept his mouth shut.

“I’m being irrational? Eames, you’ve slept on either side before, I don’t know why it matters now,” he all-but-yells.

Eames grins sloppily. “It does matter pet, I’ve come down with something awful,” he declares, choosing his words carefully because he knows what words makes him weak at the knees.

The words this time, however, show no effect.

Arthur rose his eyebrows, looking uninterested, probably because he’s immune to Eames’ bullshit by now. “Oh?”

“It’s horrid, Arthur.”

“What is it then?” He asks.

“Well it’s formal name is the ‘leftsideitus’ virus.”

Arthur barks out a laugh. “You’re so high school sometimes Eames, it hurts.”

“Which is why I should sleep on the left side.”

“You know that I can’t sleep unless I sleep on the left side,” Arthur says, and Eames knows this, but he just likes picking fights with Arthur sometimes for no reason, because it’s endlessly entertaining.

“I’ll be closer to the door if I’m on this side, I’ll be able to protect you from harm, baby,” He says. He’s grinning cheekily and his eyes are crinkling a little bit and he knows Arthur’s probably thinking of ways to castrate him the most painfully, but it’s all worth it. Because this is his Arthur and at the end of the day, nothing else matters, no matter the bed side or the place, only his Arthur truly matters.

Arthur glares at him now, holding his pillow to his chest. “You’re impossible. We both know that I can easily defend for the both of us, now can you please just let us sleep because we have work tomorrow and you’re making domestic murder sound delicious right now.”

Eames decides to milk the cow a little more before putting it back on the field. “We both know that I’d murder you before you got a chance to murder me.”

Arthur snorts. “This is conspiracy to murder, I can have you arrested.”

Eames grins, “handcuff me to the bed then, officer?”

“Do you think you deserve that?” Arthur asks, leaning over to stroke Eames’ cheek. Eames, despite himself, leans into it.

“I’ve been a bad boy,” Eames confirms.

Arthur shakes his head, and slaps Eames’ ass anyways. “Get on the bed,” he commands.

He smirks and does what Arthur says, because he knows when to give up and give in.


In the end, it didn’t matter who got what side of the bed, because after the amazing, mind-blowing sexy, they fell asleep entangled together with drying come covering their bodies.

Eames wouldn’t rather have been anywhere else.

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